These Are a Few of My Favorite Things...

New inspirational planner...just perfect :)

"Be the change you wish to see in the world"

Love these earrings...

And these!

Favorite engagement picture of Travis & I

Aerie perfume is my favorite right now!

Ebay treasure I bought this past summer

In love with these shoes. I found them at Target and it was love at first site :)

Dessert Anyone?

Decided to share an amazing APPLE PIE recipe to any who are lucky enough to stumble upon it. Probably the best crumb top apple pie I have ever eaten! No exaggeration! It's a more liquid version, but gooey and delicious! :)

Ingredients for filling:

1 tsp. salt

2 c. white sugar

6 tbsp. flour (all purpose- or if using self rising, do not add the salt)

2 egg yolks

2 c. water

2 tsp. vanilla

Directions:

Cook on stove until very thick. Continuously stir at lower heat so that egg yolks do not solidify.

Ingredients for crust:

Rolled pie crust

3 baking apples (I'd recommend Gala Apples), sliced as thinly as desired

Directions:

Purchase a Pillsbury (or generic brand) rolled pie crust (usually in the aisle with the crescent rolls & cinnamon rolls). Unroll into pie plate and fill with apples. You can also sprinkle some lemon juice onto the apples to keep them from turning brown as quickly or avoid cutting them until the filling mixture is ready to be poured.

Pour the filling over the apples, covering the entire pie plate.

Ingredients for crumb mix:

2 c. flour

1/2 c. shortening (part butter)

1/2 c. light brown sugar

1/2 tsp. salt (do not have to use salt if using self-rising flour)

Mix together with mixer until it looks like a crumb topping. Use hands to sprinkle the topping over the entire pie. It usually makes enough to top two pies.

BAKE at 375 degrees until crust is brown on edges... usually about 25-30+ minutes depending upon the oven.

ENJOY! :)

Ps. Vanilla Icecream is a nice touch to this dessert! Mmmm!

Empty Souls, Hollow Homes

Those Words You Don't Mean

Sitting alone and it's silent,

Your words are screaming at me,

Tryin' to figure out the meaning,

It's like a puzzle missing a piece,

I feel I'm racing so quickly,

But my feet are planted on the floor,

You'd think such a torn up heart,

Couldn't take anymore,

I lay beside pillows and blankets,

Pretending I'm not alone in the dark,

Wishing those words in my head,

Would find another beat up heart.

So I'll lay here in delusion,

Hoping to feel your hand on mine,

Instead of wide awake confusion,

Wondering if it will last this time

___________________________________________

Uneventful day. Just needing to find some purpose. I just can't make sense of it all. Maybe that is my problem, I try to make sense of everything, even things not meant to be taken as logic. How can one so used to filtering the world through logic, acquire a different filter? Relinquish control? Me? I wouldn't know how. I guess I am a control freak after all. I feel as though I receive zero direction in life. Occasionally I'll receive a convicting thought or two after the fact, but before hand... nothing. Awesome. I really love how this whole thing is turning out. Religion, I mean. Raised in a Christian home I have been given all of the "answers", so to speak. However, those cliche responses are not enough to satisfy me. I want to find more for myself. Maybe that is the control freak within me speaking, but either way, I need to find what's best for me. However, I can't seem to do so. I seem to end up on dead end roads with wooded areas all around and no glimpse of the light. Maybe sitting around and waiting for the trees to fall down isn't the best option, but I'm not sure which route to take. Is it not better than getting more lost or taking the wrong road? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe I'm wasting time waiting for nothing. Would I know a sign if I ran into it? Probably not. I'm too busy looking for a sign to even recognize when a real one appears. What to do with me? A hopeless cynic with some major control/anxiety issues. Could I be a lost cause? Or simply trying to find a cause that seems to be lost? Either way, God, a little direction would be greatly appreciated. Please & thank you.

Gravity

I feel as though I am in a slump lately. I'm not sure why. Everything seems to be going right for once. I'm home, finished with school in Tennessee, with family, with my fiance, enjoying free time, but something is off. Hmm. Christmas was excellent. Lots of time with family, both Travis' and mine. It was much-needed. I finally got a new camera that I am extremely happy with. My sisters surprised me with it on Christmas Day. Wonderful surprise! It's a Canon 1200 SD and I highly recommend it, especially for detailed close-ups with a digital... great quality and automatic scene detection! My mom just bought one today as well. Speaking of my mom, I am all shopped out. Aside from the annual Christmas shopping madness, she has drug me (willingly & unwillingly) to so many stores lately that I am over shopping (temporarily of course). This is another indicator of my slump... me? tired of shopping?... strange. I only wish I could figure out what has got me so down, it's a bit annoying really. Maybe I just need to adopt a little more creativity in my life. I haven't had any time for hobbies due to the hectic holiday festivities. It is quite possible that I just need some creative therapy. Hmm... but what to make?

In other news, I exchanged my wedding dress for an ivory version of the same dress. I think it was the right decision. I won't be able to see it until it arrives in March, so I am very anxious. I just think it will look much better with my skin tone. I also might have possibly found the song that I will walk down the aisle to. It's a piano version of Look After You by the Piano Tribute Players... it seems to be the perfect song in my opinion. Lots more wedding details to look forward to. Next on the list: Save the Dates. I need to start putting them together & getting them sent out before mid January. It's hard to believe I am getting married in less than 6 months. Maybe I am just going through pre-marital anxiety or something that has to do with leaving home and anticipating immense changes that are about to occur in my life. 22 years of doing things one way then having to change definitely warrants some anxiety, right? This was my last Christmas at home, and it wasn't even a typical traditional Christmas since Travis & I attended each other's Christmas activities.

I feel so old lately. Like I'm experiencing an early form of a quarter life crisis. I'm only 22, but in just a few months I'll be married- a wife! That's a whole new phase of life. I am definitely looking forward to it, but feel as though I have so much to learn. I don't want to turn into an old woman just because I gain a new identity as a wife. I want to still have fun like a 22 year-old should. Travis & I do most things together anyway, maybe it won't be THAT much different. A little nervous, but that's normal. Mostly excited more than anything. I have figured out that I am so not ready for the idea of kids. I used to think that I would want them shortly after being married. Now, I am sure that will not be the case. I actually get a little freaked out thinking about it. Let's hope that they will remain several years down the line.

Here is a picture of my new favorite necklace taken by my new camera!

Okay, enough ranting, time for bed. Goodnight. :)

"And Every Single lie Sounds Just Like the Greatest Truth"

SURRENDER (Written 12.10.07)

There’s so much on my mind.

The distance, the path, the hurdles, the time..

Running, running running..

No time to breathe.

Stop and be engulfed, surrounded, trapped.

Light is short and far-between.

Darkness protrudes like an empty reminder of my weaknesses.

Insecurities surface like warning signs differing me from the Truth.

Truth seems to be everywhere but nowhere all at once.

Surrender seems impossible.

Dreams are no longer great possibilities,

They can hurt worse than reality...

Alone

I’m grounded in my ways.

My heart is hardened to Your’s

I know better, but feel nothing anymore.

Give me feeling, the passion, the desire

Show me the way, Your way, Your desire,

Teach me, show me Your way...

And help me forget my own...

Bind my hands, my desires, my plans

Guide me, Love me, Forgive me, Help me...

Surrender...

___________________________________

LOVE (written in 2007)

It hurts. My heart does.

Whenever I think of him.

He could be the one. He doesn’t try to be.

He wants to be...someday.

That’s what he says.

But he can’t comprehend someday, let alone

forever

And I can’t wait for “someday”.

It just hurts.

Too much to stay here.

So I have to leave- to get away...

From this waiting, wondering, wishing...

Hoping...

For nothing.

Or for something that might never happen.

Or might happen, someday.

But Someday is too long.

It isn’t a day. It has no length.

I can’t wait forever.

Because I want to spend my forever in his.

He is beautiful chaos. And I love that.

But now I can’t take being alone yet together.

Too many lonely nights wanting more.

From him.

Wanting him.

Hanging on every “I love you”

Every one said with breathless meaning.

Meaning that may not exist.

To me it does.

I want it to.

To him.

So I’ll give you the freedom.

The thing you need that you can’t ask for.

Because you really don’t know.

And you won’t say it.

Not out loud.

It is too loud.

Because it might be wrong.

And you can’t live with your mistakes.

You don’t make mistakes.

But inside you know you do.

You miss those nights.

The ones when laughter would take over.

When my smile would be enough.

But not now.

It’s not enough.

You don’t even see it anymore.

You just think you do.

But it’s not really there.

If you would just look deeper.

I can’t get inside your head.

Or I could tell you for sure.

But I’m restless.

And long for you.

The old you.

The one who wanted it all.

And found it all.

In me.

But you can’t be satisfied anymore.

And if you realized it...

You’d miss me.

If you realize it...

You’ll miss me.

You miss me.

I miss you.

I miss us.

The Roller Coaster We Call Life...

It's been awhile. Partly because I have been overwhelmed with school work as the semester has finally come to an end and partly because I have had several other things on my mind lately.

One thing occupying much of my thoughts is the fact that my boyfriend proposed two weeks ago today (May 1st)! We've just approached the beginning stages of planning our wedding and figuring out all of the millions of things we must do and pay for before this time next year. It's exhausting! But very exciting! So far the colors are pink and green and off-white... However, they are pending. Seems kind of girly, but the flower arrangements that my mom and I saw are what really convinced me that I love those colors. They have green hydrangeas, pink roses, off-white peonies, and pink and white delphiniums in them. Anyway, I have lots of time to figure out details.

Tonight we held my Grandpa's 84th? birthday party. It was tons of fun. My aunt and uncle from Troy came as well as my cousins who brought their new baby Rowynn. It was the first time I have gotten to see her and it was so awesome. She is so cute and tiny! Tomorrow will be a long day attempting to please Promzilla (aka my younger sister). It is her senior prom so of course everything must be perfect or all hell will break loose. I'm exhausted right now.. I will hopefully include something less surface-level next time!

I found these gorgeous cakes on The Knot website while sifting through their massive inventory of bridal tips and suggestions!

This is a centerpiece inspiration I found on The Knot as well...

Bridesmaid dress possibility... only in pink and slightly less puffy... Maybe this shade of pink (without the hot pink ribbon!)

I Like this color of pink dresses! I also love these decorations for a bridal shower! Very girly and cute!

My mom said she is planning on throwing Travis and I an engagement party after my sister's graduation so that we can invite his family and have a cookout/bonfire. I love that I already feel as though I am a part of his family and know that our families get along wonderfully. That's one less area of stress in my life! I'm really looking forward to it! Monday my mom, Abbie (sister), and possibly Beth (my cousin) are going dress shopping. I can't wait! I already have found a dress that I love so this process might not be that difficult! If only the church would call us back so we could get that item out of the way! So much to do! Okay, now it is really time for bed! God bless! <3

PS: My sister introduced me to this adorable shirt that she found at Forever 21. I caved and bought one like hers. I must admit, it was love at first sight! It's kind of hard to recognize the detail in this picture, but it was worth every penny :) I suggest you run and pick one up as well before they're all gone. The cashier said they were selling fast!

Spring Favorites So Far!

I love this top from Ruche! And this one!

These cute little dishes from PrinceDesignUK.

I really love this handbag on Etsy!

And this pouch!

From Heidi Merrick Love it!

I really love lemon cupcakes and want to make these this summer! I also want to make these Rugelach cookies from Martha Stewart!

This picture is so cute!

And these look like a work of art!

I love the bright colors

Summer project maybe? Candles with leaves...

An sweet arial view picture...it looks WAY better here!

Random cute pictures found here....

That is all for now :)

Happenings

I haven't written in awhile. Alot has happened. Spring break, homework, life. So now I'm updating. Here are a few of the things that have happened to me over the last few weeks

Easter Sunday with both of our families!

My new cousin Rowynn Zaleigh was born a month early!

Pictures of Knoxville that I took for a school project. I love the random art found on buildings in the city.

I really like this image I found on Flickr

I have around a month left of school until summer and I can't wait. This weekend I'm throwing my roommate a Bachelorette party so I've been frantically running around finishing up the last minute errands that I have to get done. I'm excited about it though. I think it will turn out well if all goes as planned! In the spirit of planning a celebration, I've been looking around at different cakes. I found these online from Sarah Magid. I love them!

In terms of shopping finds, my latest favorite Ruche piece is this adorable shirt:

This is a Heritage Anita dress from Forever 21. It's only $16.90 and seemingly worth it! Here are some more finds from Forever 21 that I would love to add to my summer closet:

I love the Fabulous Finds section. You can find items like this leaf print top for amazingly cheap prices!

Only $15.80 and I'm in love :)

I just recently bought a pair of gladiator sandals, and I can't wait for warmer

weather to get to wear them!

This is from the Mike & Chris Spring 09 Collection. Too cute!

In terms of craftiness, I've been creating random odds and ends. I finally attempted making clay flowers and loved it! I had to leave it all at home though seeing as I can only fit so much into my dorm. I decided to take a whack at baking over break and made a double layer cake. It turned out pretty well. Very short of perfect, but definitely pleasant to eat. I even made fondant flowers that slightly resemble the clay ones to decorate the cake. Here is a rough picture I took on my phone:

For someone who has only baked a handful of times in their 21 years, I felt that this was a decent turnout! Needless to say, I was proud of my accomplishment!

Well, that is all for now... time to begin a day of homework. I have a busy week ahead of me!

God Bless!

♥

Ps. On a minor side note, I found that turquoise Mossimo bag found in my post before last on sale for 50% off! As you can probably imagine, I bought it without thinking twice! And if you are wondering, yes, it is everything I has hoped it would be! I've already carried it for the past three days and have no complaints thus far! :)